Breast Cancer Cure

I've always wanted to be the person who discovers the cure for cancer. That person will be the most beloved person in the world. Until I get that medical degree (I believe I will get it in the eternities -- I imagine we will all become omniscient and omnipotent after eons and eons of progression. For the first 50 years of the eternities I will get a medical degree, the second 50 years I will learn to be a prima ballerina, the third 50 years I will learn to sing like Celine Dion, etc..) and come up with the cure for cancer, I would like to share with you my very unscientific, but carefully thought out cure for breast cancer.

First stop using antiperspirant and deodorant. This isn't my idea, but one I read by another non-medical guy. He said that the aluminum from antiperspirant is a harmful chemical and when rubbed on your armpit, the lymph nodes which are close by, absorb the chemicals and contribute to breast cancer. This just made sense to me when I read it, so I use antiperspirant very rarely. This author said, "Don't put anything on your skin that you wouldn't put in your mouth, because it gets absorbed  into your body and affects it."My whole family knows that the washcloth by my sink is for wiping my pits throughout the day. When I feel a little moisture, I go and get that washcloth wet and wipe off any sweat before it starts to stink.

Second, (and this is the cure I came up with) stop wearing bras so often. Everything on our body is healthier when we move it. We move our legs and arms when we exercise. We get our heart pumping rapidly when we want to improve its health. My mom crochets baby blankets all the time to keep her fingers moving, which helps with her arthritis. So, I think we can all agree that movement promotes the health of our body. As women, we use bras that limit the movement of our breasts. We bind them in so they will move as little as possible. We seem to be getting a lot of breast cancer; could our lack of letting those babies jiggle be part of the reason?

For the last few years ,when I take my dog for a walk, I rip off that confining bra and let them breathe. When they bounce around, I feel it is healthy for them. They are moving. Blood is getting in there and hopefully getting toxins out and bringing good stuff in. It's got to be healthy for the breast tissue, muscles, sinews, whatever is in there, to stretch, expand and contract. Now I know you big breasted women are saying it's easy for a small breasted woman like myself to say this. I just think, we've got to figure out a way to get those things moving.

I'd like to do some research on the women in Africa who go topless all their lives. Do they have less breast cancer than bra-wearing women? If they do, then maybe I'm onto something.

So there it is, my unscientific, unproven cure for breast cancer. Can't wait till this catches on and I become the most beloved woman who kept that nasty breast cancer at bay by encouraging women to go gear-less more often.

BYU; You Failed Me!

BYU; You Failed Me! I'm so mad at BYU right now. They totally screwed up! They missed their chance to win over a gorgeous, talented, and smart girl to come to their school and it would have been so easy to get her. I have figured out the missing link in their recruiting process. I seriously need to be hired by their recruiting staff. Let me start at the beginning.

Jenna is at the end of her senior year of high school, which means she is in the process of deciding which college or university to go to. She was accepted to BYU- Idaho, BYU-Provo, University of Utah, and University of San Francisco. She has no desire to go to Idaho, so that one is out, so she toured the other three schools. After touring USF she realized it wouldn't be worth the money, so now we're down to UofU, and BYU-Provo. The UofU had a day for those accepted to come check out the campus. Now Jenna is a Honor Student (I think her GPA is 3.9), a Sterling Scholar in Language, and very self-motivated. She made sure there was a Study Abroad Program and liked the Scholars Program they offered. She was especially excited about the eye-candy she saw there. She couldn't quit looking at the kid with the long curly hair, 2 earrings, and a buff body. 

So the UofU did it right. And this is where BYU-Provo failed me. They didn't have any eye-candy out and about on the day she took a tour. We scheduled a tour at 4:00. It was just the tour guide and Jenna, Jeff and me. We jumped into a golf cart and started the impressive tour. We drove along all the sidewalks throughout the campus and stopped at certain buildings to hear what goes on in there. The problem was that at that time of day, most of the students are back in their dorms, and very few were walking around. At the end of the tour and hearing about this amazing school and all it offers, Jenna complained that she didn't see one good-looking guy. That is what mattered to her! Of course, that matters to a lot of kids her age. 

My solution is simple and so easy to implement. I'm too late to get this going for my daughter's sake, but maybe BYU will use my idea for the next round of possible future students. All BYU needs to do is hire the top 50 best looking guys and top 50 best looking girls. University students are always poor, so they don't need to be payed much. When a tour is booked, they need to find out if it's a girl or boy doing the tour. If it's a girl, then tell 10 of the 50 guys that they need to go to their designated spot on campus where the golf cart will pass. When the prospective student (let's pretend it's Jenna) passes by she'll see one hot guy leaning up against a tree reading a book who just happens to glance up as she passes and flashes her his winning smile, the next guy will be sitting on the grass with a girls head in his lap while he strokes her hair (suggesting that this could be you next year), #3 guy will be walking down the sidewalk and has to get out of the way of the golf cart, and happens to catch Jenna's eye and says, "Please tell me you are coming here in the Fall!", #4 hot guy just happens to be near the library door when Jenna gets off the cart to tour the library and opens the door for her while placing his hand on her back to escort her through, #5 and #6 babelicious dudes are throwing a football to each other as the cart passes the grassy area at the center of campus, #7 hunk of burning love is walking to class and listening to his head phones, and Jenna hears him quietly singing to Bruno Mars I Should Have Brought You Flowers, #8, #9, and #10 guys are talking and laughing on the stairs of the Wilkensen Center until one of them spys Jenna in the cart driving towards them and taps his friends on their muscular shoulders and points out the hot new student as they each try frantically to get Jenna's attention before she passes by. 

What do you think? It would work; I swear it would. That is 10 bucks to each guy for their hour of work; 100 bucks for BYU to hand out in hopes of getting a student that will pay thousands and thousands for the next four years. 

Oh, to what could have been.

Is There Anything Better than a Bath?

Oh how I love bath-time. I don't usually take a bath to get clean, although that is a side benefit, I take a shower to get clean. I take a bath for 1 of 3 reasons; to get warm, to relax, or to feel better because I am sick and achey. There is nothing that warms me up faster than a bath (a blanket, a fire, they are just not fast enough), nothing that helps me de-stress and relax quicker, and nothing that helps the aches and pains of an illness subside better than a bath. It's almost impossible to slide into the hot-as-your-body-can-take-it water without letting out a sigh and simultaneously praising a being from on high.

Bath-time is such a thinking-and reflecting-time, I guess because there is nothing else to do, at least I could never figure out how to read a book or magazine in there without getting it wet, and there are 2 men that usually come into my thoughts sometime during the bath. You're probably thinking it would be Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt or Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights (holy heck he is one hot tamale), but no, I think about Mike Tyson and a European King from somewhere around the 14th century. I think of Mike Tyson because I saw him interviewed once where he spoke about his time in prison after being convicted of date raping a girl. He said that the thing he missed most about being in prison was being able to take a bath. So every time I luxuriate in my tub I realize that I am doing something that every convict is unable to do. Mike, who had everything before prison life, missed a bath most. Made me realize what a luxury a long hot bath is. The reason I think about a King from the olden days is because of the many tours I took of castles while living in Europe. One tour guide told us that the King had a bath, which of course had no plumbing, and the servants would heat water to fill it originally, then periodically pour more water into the bath when the King let them know it was getting cold. So, in essence, I live a better life than a King used to live. I can turn the tap and have hot water the second I want it hotter. The King had to be disturbed by servants coming in and out and adding hot water. I marvel that I have a better bathing experience than the highest ranking, most powerful, person had in the 14th century.

So, to answer the question; Is there anything better than a bath? Mike and I would say, if you are cold, stressed, or sick, (or in prison); no, not really.

P.S. When Jeff and I moved into our home in Canada, the master bedroom had the most glorious bathroom I have ever had. The jacuzzi tub was huge. The owner had lived there for 13 years before us. He told us he had never taken a bath in all those years, until he knew he had to move out. He took his first bath in 13 years the week before he moved out and we moved in. That's a man who needs to take some time to smell the roses and chill-lax once in awhile; at least more than once every thirteen years.

Extreme Holiday Decorators

I have a hypothesis that I'd like to prove. I hypothesize that people who are extreme holiday decorators are happy people; happier than most of us. When I see these homes with thousands and thousands of Christmas lights, a Santa and reindeer on the roof, a few lit-up snowmen and deer with bobbing heads in the yard, and every branch of every tree covered with lights, I just can't imagine a depressed, ornery, or angry person living there. One home we pass on our drive home has a magnificent light display that is synchronized to move with the Christmas songs on a specific radio station. There is Santa in the window laughing and holding his belly.
 The home down the hill from us is the place to see during Halloween. They have a 20 foot spider on the roof glaring menacingly down at all visitors and of course a huge spider web nearby. Frankenstein has his arms outstretched ready to grab unsuspecting trick-or-treaters. Ghosts hang from the trees swaying in the cool October breeze. There is just no possible way that these people aren't fantastic. I believe that these extreme decorators are so happy that they want to make others happy through their holiday displays.
I'd like to ask the neighbors of these extreme holiday decorators, if these people are as happy as their home suggests and prove my hypothesis. I know every time I drive by these homes I can't help but smile and wonder about the happy people that I'm certain live there.

Shower Off or On?

Jeff doesn't understand why I don't turn off the shower when I soap myself up. It's completely understandable to me. I can't stand to be cold for 2 minutes. I'll pay the extra 50 cents to keep the water running while I soap up. He thinks its not only a waste of money, but its not a way to reach optimal cleanliness (and we know we all want optimal cleanliness). I wonder how many people turn off the water when they soap up and how many people leave the water running while they soap up. I've taken a few classes recently where we create and review surveys. I think in my next class I will create a survey to find out if there are more "shower on" or "shower off" people. For some reason we always feel better when more people do things our way.

Dead Singers

Dead singers; I love them. All my favorite singers are dead. They all died young, and all had tragic deaths. They are:

Karen Carpenter - Who doesn't love Mr. Postman or I'm on the Top of the World. I want a Broadway play to be made from her songs like ABBA's songs were made into the hit musical Mama Mia. Died of anorexia nervosa at age 32.

John Denver - Take Me Home, Country Roads and Leaving on a Jet Plane. Died in a plane crash. He was the only one on the plane. He was 53.

Marvin Gaye - Sexual Healing; never tire of it. I like how they say he is the King of satin-sheet soul. Was killed by his father with 3 gunshot wounds to the chest. He was 44.

Jim Croce - what song don't I love of his. Time in a Bottle and I Have to say I Love You in a Song. Died with 4 other people in a plane crash at the age of 30.

Michael Jackson - can we say best singer and dancer of all time. When I saw his video Beat It, I was mesmerized by the way he moved and the energy he put into each word. I'm a believer in his innocence.  He died of an overdose of medication his doctor injected into him at the age of 50.

Whitney Houston - was the singer Jeff and I loved when we dated. We listened to her debut album all the time. Saving all my Love is beautiful, as well as everything she sang, until she died of cocaine overdose, which caused her to drown in the tub, at the age of 48.

Thanks to all of them for brightening many of my days with their music. As Michael Jackson says, Gone too Soon.

Are More People Happy or Sad?

If I gave everyone in the world a piece of paper, and asked them to write whether they are happy or sad today; would there be more people saying they are happy or sad? My sister, Larali, and I both think there would be more people sad. Look at our lives; we have our basic needs met, loving families, all the things that should make for a happy life, and yet we are often sad. If we are often sad, then imagine how many people in the world are sad. It makes me sad to think that more people are sad, on any given day, than are happy.

Enough Clothes

Looking in my closet and realized that I could go through the rest of my life and never have to buy another article of clothing. I could literally be clothed for the next 40 years ( cause I plan to live into my 90's) just from the clothing I have now. I wouldn't be up-to-date and stylish, but I would be clothed. Just was a weird thought to me, that if I didn't want to buy any more clothes ever, I would be fine.

My dilemma with Lingerie

Let's see ~~ it's been 3 years since I last wrote. Yikes! I guess writing every few years is better than nothing. I have a friend who lost her mother. The only written words left by her mother were the comments she wrote in the margins of the books she read. My friend cherishes those few written words. I used to write (by hand) in my journals and felt it was important for posterity, but I've come to doubt that anyone will really ever read it. My own children and possibly by (future) grandchildren, may check out a few entries, but I can't imagine many people beyond that small number. So mostly I write for myself. It helps me figure myself out, and it's not always easy to figure myself out.

So, one thing that have been going around in my head -- is my dilemma with lingerie. When Jeff and I were writing down our goals for 2014, (yes, we're believers in goal setting - so many people I talk to are downers about New Year's Resolutions, saying they never keep them, so why bother. I would say I keep a few, and break a lot, but I think it is interesting to see each year what is important to me) he mentioned that he would love it if I wore more lingerie this year. Reasonable enough I'd say, but there is a slight problem. Let's start with my history of lingerie. I have maybe 6 sexy, little, lacy numbers that I have had for at least 15 years, but get out so rarely, that each time I wear one, Jeff asks if it is new. Not good, I know. So why don't I wear lingerie more often? It comes down to this;  the problem with lingerie is, it makes me cold! Those skimpy pieces of material keep me curling into a ball for warmth. I know, from the movies, I'm supposed to be languishing on the bed in a sexy pose, but instead I'm huddled beneath the covers, shivering.  My arms need to be covered and legs for that matter. Unless I'm on a hot beach or a sauna, I need to be covered up, or I'm uncomfortable. The only solution I can think of is to start a new lingerie company. What I'm going to do is buy footsie pj's that cover you in warm, fuzzy material from head to foot, and then cut three circles into them, strategically placed for easy access. He gets to see and touch what he wants to, and I get to be warm. I'm thinking this may be the way I make my millions, assuming there are other women who feel the way I do. I'll try out my new lingerie idea on Jeff, and if it's a hit, a new company will be born, or at least I will have solved my "lingerie is too cold" dilemma .